"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Louisiana Superdome in beautiful New Orleans... I'm Lionel Thetyme, and along with my broadcast colleague, 'Blind' Dan Furgeson..."
"How's it goin', folks?"
"We bring you another exciting night of the Nightmare Wrestling Foundation... Tonight we have a lot of exciting matches... Newcomer, Hex, will square off against Tiger... En Fuego continues his crusade to destroy the Heavyweight Champion, Bobo Fiendish... 'Asian Sensation' Dr. Midnight vies against Sgt. Sledge in a leather strap match..."
"Uh, Lionel... Dr. Midnight tendered his resignation..."
"What? He QUIT? Unbelievable!"
"Strange as it may seem... Also, we've lost our Tag Team Champs... The Hypnoticos..."
"Are you SERIOUS?"
"Sadly, yes... How this will impact the Nightmare remains to be seen, but we don't think it looks good..."
"I'm completely flummoxed... Dan... What's the first match...?"
"Well, it seems my old buddy Psycho Phil has to walk through the ol' meat grinder, as he faces that BASTARD Gas Chamber... And with the Ace Ventura Theme Song playing, here comes Phil with his chair, Betsy..."
"Isn't Betsy the name of Sgt. Sledge's Hammer?"
"I think so, Lionel, but that's something we'll go into later..."
"Okay, Dan... And here's Gas Chamber's music, and GC is coming to the ring like a runaway truck... Phil wisely rolls outside, and GC enters the ring! Phil has a few words with Betsy, while GC paces inside the ring..."
"Reportedly, Phil is a student of Pain and Punishment... Perhaps their untimely deaths drove him over the edge? What do you think, Lionel?"
"Well, I don't know what did it, but you can't doubt that he's a psycho for agreeing to this match... GC has an almost 100 pound weight advantage, and is considered one of the most merciless creatures in this sport..."
"Well, as Phil warily enters the ring, the referee calls for the bell, and the match begins..."
"GC demands Phil come at him, but Phil rolls out of the ring again for another chat with Betsy... Is this guy gonna fight or what, Dan?"
"Maybe he's trying to take GC off his gameplan, Lionel... Phil rolls back into the ring as the referee keeps between GC and him... Phil stands up... OOOOO! Did you see that, Lionel?"
"GC vaulted clean over the ref and came down on Phil in a high cross body! I can't believe that GC can jump that high! Phil takes a spill... GC hauls Phil up and DRIVES him back down in a Power Bomb that probably knocked Phil's MOM out... Phil rolls outside the ring, but GC springboards onto him in a pescato that knocks Phil into the steel! It looked like Phil was going for Betsy, but GC intercepted him..."
"GC is now picking up Betsy... He places 'her' in Phil's hands and tosses Phil back into the ring... I can't understand why he's doing this, Lionel... Does he intend to have Phil lose by DQ?"
"I don't know, Dan... GC is saying something to the referee, who looks at Dan, then back at GC, and rules the match should continue? What the hell?"
"Apparently, GC told the ref that he wants Phil to be able to use the chair... For some reason, the ref agreed... You gotta ask, Lionel... Doesn't ANYBODY like Phil? GC takes a rest in the corner while Phil tries to get to his feet... Groggily, Phil notices he has Betsy... He looks to GC, and then to the referee... The referee shrugs, and Phil charges GC with Betsy in hand..."
"GC almost casually steps aside, allowing Phil to run full tilt into the corner... Phil staggers back a few steps... GC yanks him down by his hair! Betsy flies out of Phil's hands, and GC catches it! AND GIVES IT BACK?"
"Obviously, GC is sending a message to Phil, Lionel... It's like he's saying there's no way that Phil can win without a weapon of some kind... Strange, but what can you expect when a Psycho meets a Madman? Phil struggles to his feet, and GC motions for Phil to take a shot with the chair... Phil complies, smashing GC dead in the face! GC goes back a step, and Phil follows up with a chair-loaded clothesline! GC goes down to one knee, and Phil PASTES him with another chair-shot! The big man finally hits the canvas, and Phil raises his chair in victory..."
"A bit premature, there, Dan... GC hasn't been in a pinning situation at all... And as if he heard me, Phil goes for a chair-loaded leg-drop... But GC moves! GC is on his feet, and he hauls Phil to a vertical base... He's still lifting! Phil is up in a vertical suplex! GC holds him there for a bit, and I think that he could keep Phil up there half the night..."
"But he doesn't decide to, Lionel... Vertical DDT on Betsy! That has to be it... Apparently not, as GC gets to his feet and casually walks to the corner to wait for Phil to get back up..."
"He may be in for a long wait, Dan... Phil is pretty much out of it... What the? Phil is trying to get to his feet? Stay down, you dope! Phil is using Betsy to prop himself up on one knee, and GC still hasn't moved in on him...."
"Excellent strategy on the bastard's part, I must admit... Dump on the guy, take a rest, repeat... You stay fresh, and your opponent gets whittled away... Nice..."
"Phil is now up on his feet, and GC finally moves in... Phil goes to the midsection with Betsy, but GC doesn't slow down... He grabs Phil by the head! OOOOO! He pitches Phil over his shoulder like a candy wrapper! Obviously GC's greater size and weight proving too much for the sub-200 pound Phil... Phil gets tangled in the ropes by his left leg, and GC moves in on him... He grabs Phil's right leg... And JUMPS OVER THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE! What do we call that, Dan?"
"Dragon Screw Wishbone Rope-Straddle Dive? Hell, I dunno... I call it bad news for Phil... His lower body just being pretzelized by GC like a pipe-cleaner doll... GC comes back into the ring, and WALKS BACK TO THE CORNER AND WAITS! I knew this bastard was sadistic, but this is SICK..."
"Phil is in terrible shape now, and the referee untangles him... But the damage may be done on our Pet Detective, as he's writhing in agony on the mat.... GC still waiting for Phil to pull himself up... Phil using the ropes to try to do so... Phil is now up... GC moves in, and Phil pivots quickly and BASHES GC with Betsy! And AGAIN! And AGAIN! GC finally goes down, and Phil lays Betsy across the fallen Gas Chamber's head... He's climbing the turnbuckle... Is he trying for the Straitjacket? He is! He flies through the air... Nobody home but Betsy! GC gets out of the way and smoothly leaves the chair for Phil to land on! Phil bounces to his feet from the impact, and right into GC's clutches! There's the Pumphandle.... GAS CHAMBER ONTO BETSY! OH JEEZE! GC goes for the pin, though the outome is purely academic at this point, Dan... 1.... 2.... 3....! GC defeats Psycho Phil!"
"Hmmm... Does that mean that GC is the new Ultimate Jobber Champ, Lionel?"
"Ha ha... I'm guessing this was a non-title match, Dan... Good one, though..."
"And as our medical personnel scrape Phil onto a stretcher, we have to notice GC hasn't left the ring yet... Does he mean to disrupt another match?"
"Hard to say, Dan... The medical staff start to carry Phil away... Oh my GOD! GC somersault legdrops Phil while he's on the STRETCHER! The stretcher gives way under the impact, and Phil is crushed onto the floor under GC! That was HEINOUS! That was SADISTIC..."
"That's Gas Chamber... Now you see why I call him bastard all the time?"
"No lie... Oh well... What's our next match?"
"Sergeant Sledge versus Dr. Midnight... Oops... Forgot... Midnight quit... Sorry..."
"Oh well... After that?"
"Uhhh... Okay... Tiger versus Hex... Alright! Cue Tiger's music! And as 'Run Through the Jungle' by Creedence Clearwater Revival plays, Tiger comes down the aisle slapping five with the fans... He springs into the ring as the fans cheer..."
"And we have the newcomer Hex coming down the aisle now, Dan... It looks like he's wearing the same gear as Caster... What's the story there?"
"According to my sources, Hex is Caster's little brother... Maybe their tights design is some sort of family crest? Who knows for sure... Hey! Hex just spit on a fan with a Caster sign! Obviously a little sibling rivalry there... Hex is now entering the ring, Lionel, and the referee calls for the bell...."
"Tiger wasting no time, Dan, as he floors Hex with a running clothesline... Hex stumbles to the corner from the impact, and Tiger follows him in... Tiger rams his shoulder repeatedly into Hex's midsection... That has to take its toll on the inexperienced Hex... Tiger now standing on the second rope, and he delivers a few shots to the side of Hex's head... The crowd counting along... 1, 2, 3, 4, OOOO! A little too early for that kind of thing, as Hex grabs Tiger and executes a reverse atomic drop! Tiger staggers from the impact, and Hex NAILS him with a running shoulder tackle! Tiger hits the canvas, and Hex drops an elbow... CONNECTS with it, and tries for a cover... 1... Tiger kicks out at one!"
"Tiger a little too tough for such an early cover, Lionel... Hex pulls Tiger to his feet... Irish Whips Tiger into the ropes... Spinebuster! Hex rolls Tiger over, not trying for a cover... Corkscrew Legdrop to the back of Tiger's head! Hex now applying a Boston Crab, showing good mat wrestling... But Tiger's too close to the ropes, and the referee calls for the break... Hex won't break! The referee begins to count... 1... 2... 3... 4... Hex finally releases Tiger, and STOMPS on his lower back... Hard to believe this barbarian is from the same blood as our TV Champion, isn't it, Lionel?"
"Without a doubt, Dan.... Tiger struggles to get back to a vertical base, and Hex catches him in the back him with a dropkick that sends Tiger through the ropes and to the floor! Hex following up quickly as he leaps to the top turnbuckle... He goes for a Corkscrew Plancha! Nobody home but the STEEL!"
"That'll DEFINITELY slow the momentum, Lionel... Hex trying to shake off the effects of the collision, but Tiger is right on top of him... He picks Hex up, and PLANTS him crotch first back onto the steel! Tiger takes a step back, and CATCHES Hex with a Back Brain KICK that topples him to the floor! The tide is turning, Lionel..."
"Tiger picks Hex up and rolls him back into the ring... Tiger rolls in after him, and executes a standing moonsault on the rookie! Tiger has the cover... 1.... 2.... Hex kicks free! Tiger climbs the turnbuckle, perhaps to go for the Eight-Ten... NO! Hex hits the ropes and Tiger falls across the top turnbuckle! Hex grabs Tiger and tosses him to the mat... Hex climbs to the top and waits for some reason... Tiger starts to get to his feet, and Hex leaps off the turnbuckle past Tiger... STUNNER! Unbelievable! Hex has executed some sort of a Flying Stunner from the Top! What a move! He goes for the cover! 1.... 2.... 3....! Hex takes the victory! What a wild Finisher! This rookie could be our next rising star here, Dan!"
"Apparently the talent runs in that family, if not the manner... And that brings us to the last match of the evening..."
"Is it getting hotter in here, Dan?"
"Indeed so, Lionel, which means that En FUEGO is coming down the aisle, escorted by the Lovely Lady Lava... Interesting story here, Lionel... Apparently, En Fuego as put up his valet, Triple L, against the champion's strap..."
"That might not sound so nuts, until you consider that the heavyweight champ is none other than Bobo Fiendish... Then it sounds positively STUPID... I don't know what is going on with En Fuego's burgeoning feud with Bobo, but apparently hate is clouding the young luchadore's mind..."
"And with the playing of Yngwie Malmsteen's 'No Mercy', Bobo steps out... Lionel, this monster has massacred everything we've put against him, and asked for more... He stalks to the ring like a predatory beast, and steps in through the ropes... EnF gets in Bobo's face, and Bobo bends down a bit to look the luchadore in the eye... They stand there nose to nose, and EnF gives Bobo a serious badmouthing... Bobo straightens up, and YAWNS!"
"His overconfidence is gonna cost him big someday, Dan..."
"But not today, it seems, as Bobo front lunge kicks EnF right in the chops! EnF didn't even see it coming! The luchadore flies back from the impact like a tiddlywink! The ref calls for the bell, and the match is under way...."
"EnF springs to his feet, shaking off the kick... You have to admire his heart, if not his brains... Bobo signals EnF to come at him, and EnF does... He leaps onto Bobo with a Thesz Press, but the monster doesn't budge... BEARHUG from Fiendish! Oh that's bad... EnF trying to punch his way free, but Bobo just absorbs the strikes... You may as well be punching a statue, kid.... Fiendish follows up with a Belly-to-Belly Side Suplex that just dumps EnF to the mat... Bobo gets to his feet, and crosses his arms across his chest! Triple L screaming encouragement to her man, and EnF gets to his feet..."
"He's had the wind knocked out of him, but looks like he's trying to get it back together... Fiendish still standing there, as if patiently waiting for some sort of attack from EnF... OOOOO! Excellent Double-Leg Back Mule Kick from En Fuego that catches Bobo square in the stomach... The monster didn't BUDGE! Anyone else would be on their back from that shot, Lionel, but Fiendish seems to relish taking the full measure of his opponents before he goes to work... EnF leaps to his feet, and CLOCKS the beast with a solid Jumping Inside Crescent Kick.... Bobo actually had his head turned by that shot, but not much else... En Fuego starting to get frustrated..."
"Well, remember, Dan, Bobo does outweigh En Fuego by nearly 150 solid pounds... You know what they say about the bigger they are in the Nightmare...."
"The harder they hit?"
"Precisely..."
"Well, En Fuego is trying to mount an offense against Fiendish... He runs to the ropes, building momentum... Clotheslines the Champ! Bobo still just standing there... This has got to be getting to EnF... Bobo is letting En Fuego unload on him; apparently to show that he can take all the young luchadore can dish out... He tries to give Bobo the Irish Whip to the turnbuckle, but Bobo reverses it! En Fuego hits the corner full tilt, and Bobo doesn't even follow up! That'll knock the wind out of you, to be sure..."
"That's true, Dan... En Fuego staggers back from the impact, directly into the hands of the Champ! Bobo just shoves the luchadore roughly to the mat... This is just terrible... Bobo reaches down to pick up EnF... SMALL PACKAGE from En FUEGO! The crowd comes to its feet as the referee goes for the count... 1.... Only one! Bobo too strong, too fresh... En Fuego leaps to his feet before Fiendish, and drops the elbow! CONNECTS! EnF goes for it again! CONNECTS! Goes for a legdrop... Nobody home! Bobo simply sits up to avoid the legdrop... Now Bobo is on his feet, and he waits for En Fuego to rise... EnF gets to a vertical base, and ducks a looping right hand from the monster... En Fuego counters with a drop toe hold that catches Fiendish napping, and brings him down! En Fuego grabs Bobo in an Ankle Lock, but Fiendish easily powers free..."
"Smart wrestling from EnF, Lionel... Not trying for the high impact shots anymore... Trying to wear him down slowly with the submission holds and chain-wrestling... EnF has leapt onto Bobo's back, and is applying a chinlock... He bears down on Bobo with all his weight, grinding the hold, making Bobo carry them both... Trying to wear him down... The referee checks the hold, asks Bobo is he wants to tap... Bobo refuses... And STANDS UP! En Fuego is now perched on Bobo's shoulders and hanging on for dear life... Bobo checks his ring positioning and walks forward two steps... and DROPS! En Fuego is GUILLOTINED by the top rope, sending him sprawling to the floor... Triple L checks her man, trying to offer encouragement... She looks toward the ring with hate in her eye, and Bobo blows her a KISS! She's pulling her man to his feet, and it looks like Bobo is climbing out after them... He grabs En Fuego across the trapezious in an Iron Claw! Bobo looks at Triple L, and applies ANOTHER Iron Claw - left handed - to the other shoulder of the hapless luchadore... and PICKS HIM UP! He's holding EnF up by the nape of his neck like a kitten! En Fuego is writhing in obvious pain, and Bobo turns to toss him in the ring... What the? Triple L goes into her purse, and comes up with a TIRE IRON! She SWINGS! She hit Bobo FLUSH, and the ref didn't see it...! Bobo's head comes up at the impact, as if she was just trying to get his attention! What sort of beast IS this? He releases his left-handed Iron Claw, and loops a backhand punch at the amazed Triple L... CONNECTS! En Fuego's Valet goes flying, into the Timekeeper's Table... Bobo drops En Fuego and picks up the tire iron... AND TIES A KNOT IN IT? What the HELL?"
"I can't believe it either, Dan... Triple L is trying to get herself together, and Bobo tosses En Fuego into the ring... He follows him in, and waves to the crowd!"
"Isn't that the signal for the...?"
"Oh, GOD, I hope not! Bobo executes a CRUSHING Rude-style neckbreaker.... It may be over... It's the set-up move for the Farewell to the Flesh! Triple L has gone to where Bobo dropped her tire iron, and look at her shock! She can't believe Bobo tied a knot in her tire iron... Well, neither can we, sis, and we were CONSCIOUS when he did it... Bobo picks up En Fuego, and reaches over his back... He brings his arms back around, and locks them in place... Triple L is on the apron, and Bobo looks at her... She yells something at Bobo, who shrugs a little, and pulls En Fuego close... En Fuego struggling, but he's locked up... If Bobo drops, that's it... Bobo looks at Triple L again... She still seems to be refusing to do whatever he wants her to do... Bobo lifts his left leg, preparing to kick out and drop En Fuego in his Fatality..."
"You mean Finisher, don't you, Lionel?"
"YOU ever see anyone live through it?"
"Well, no..."
"Me neither... Bobo looks again at Triple L, as if daring her to try to interfere..."
"She knows that all he has to do now is kick out his other leg to complete the move... He has to be asking her whether she'll throw in the towel to save En Fuego... Even if she tried to get in and stop him, she wouldn't be able to before he dropped, anyway...."
"She knows it, too... Bobo starts to bend his right leg for the drop... He looks toward Triple L for what must be the last time..."
"And she throws in the towel! I can't believe Bobo forced her to do that... The referee calls for the bell and gets it... Bobo Fiendish retains the Title... He releases En Fuego, and shoves him roughly to the mat... He turns toward Triple L, and holds out his hand! The referee attempts to raise Bobo's hand in victory, but Bobo pulls his hand away from him..."
"Apparently, Bobo wants Triple L to do it... What must be going through her mind right now? With an obviously heavy heart, she enters the ring and raises Bobo's hand... Bobo now holds open the ropes so she can leave the ring with him... She's crying, but knows that a deal is a deal, and walks slowly through the ropes that Bobo holds open for her.... Fiendish hops out behind her, and offers her his arm... This is just terrible.... She looks back at En Fuego who is still struggling to get to his feet, and hangs her head in defeat as she takes Bobo's arm and is led away..."
"Well, they've left... And the referee helps En Fuego stand up... En Fuego looks around, as if to find Triple L... The referee is apparently telling EnF what has transpired...."

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Holy shyte, Dan... You can hear En Fuego screaming from here...."
"Obviously, En Fuego is distraught... But in my opinion, it beats being dead..."
"En Fuego looks like he would disagree with you, Dan..."
"Well, we'll have to wait and see what happens next with this feud, Lionel, because it's time to say goodnight..."
"Indeed it is, Dan... So for all of us at the Nightmare, Good Night, and Drive Safely..."

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

(End of Broadcast)