"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Austin, Texas for a fine night of Nightmare Wrestling Foundation action.... My name is Lionel Thetyme, and my broadcast colleague is 'Blind' Dan Furgeson...."
"That's me. Lemme tell you, folks, this card has everything... Love, Hate, Good, Evil, Grit, Grudges and Death... We're sure that you'll enjoy the show..."
"And what's on the card for our first match, Dan?"
"Well, we have that BASTARD, Gas Chamber, going up against a very banged up Abu Mushiski. Lemme tell ya, Lionel, that this is currently the front-runner for Worst Idea of All Time..."
"True. Nobody expected Abu to wrestle this soon after Dr. Midnight brutally worked over his leg. Abu himself only recently decided to do the match, recanting his earlier testimony that he wouldn't be fighting Gas Chamber tonight..."
"Which leads us to another couple complications, Lionel... Seeing as how Dr. Midnight wasn't on tonights card, he offered to tackle Gas Chamber instead... I hear that the Asian Sensation is even in the building tonight..."
"This promises to be quite a match, Dan... And we hear the Arabian Music which Abu uses for an intro, which means that this match is about to get underway.... I see Abu limping towards the ring, sporting a knee brace... Dan, you have to admire the fighting spirit of young Mushiski..."
"Oh, indeed... Though you can't say much for his survival instinct...."
"And now we hear Gas Chamber's intro music... This monster is fresh off a win against Rob Van Dam in a match that actually retired RVD from the Nightmare... You have to admit that he's the favorite in tonight's match...."
"However, Lionel, you have to admit that GC is in a lose/lose situation... If he beats Abu, he'll have beaten a crippled up wreck... If he loses... Well, he'd better hope Abu snaps his neck."
"And there's the bell, Dan... GC is pretty much just standing there, as if to figure out what Abu is doing in there in the first place.... Abu is standing there, too... He looks like he's waiting for GC to smash him... OOOOO!"
"Well, GC didn't let him wait long... He sprawls Abu across the mat with a short clothesline... Abu is trying to get back to his feet, and GC lets him..."
"Smart move on GC's part, Dan... Abu will probably cause himself some more damage just getting to a vertical base... GC could probably end this at any time...."
"But if I know that S.O.B..., and I do, he's gonna stretch this out as long as he can.... Well, Abu is on his feet, and is shouting for GC to come and get him...."
"And GC does, delivering a solid front kick into Abu's belly, doubling the youngster over... Gas Chamber closes the gap, and gutwrenches the youngster up for a powerbomb...."
"Huracunrana! EXCELLENT counter by Mushiski! He has GC's ankles! The referee goes for the count! 1... 2.... ALMOST! GC kicks out!"
"I can't believe it.... GC was almost pinned from sheer surprise! The big man is going to be mighty angry when he gets back up..."
"You must be psychic, Lionel... GC just executed a beautiful windmill legsweep, sending Abu to the ground in agony... I didn't know GC could breakdance...."
"If I might point out, Dan, that move was kung fu before it was hiphop..."
"I stand corrected, Lionel... Now it seems that GC is taking the boots to Abu pretty hard... I guess that he's a little embarrassed that Abu caught him napping..."
"Well, Dan, in truth, GC shouldn't have underestimated Mushiski...."
"Agreed... Can you believe that GC is STILL stomping the stuffing out of Abu? That kid must be in his own personal world of pain... I can hardly watch this savage beating, Lionel..."
"Wait a second, Dan! Someone's running out! Oh, Christmas! It's Doctor Midnight! Midnight leaps into the ring and delivers a spinwheel kick to Gas Chamber! GC kicks Midnight in response, and we have the two men brawling over Abu's crumpled form...."
"The referee is calling for the bell.... He's disqualifying Abu for outside interference! What the hell? The men have heard the referee's decision, and have stopped brawling... They stare at each other while Abu writhes in agony... Oh NO!"
"Oh, YES! BOTH men are now stomping on Abu! I can't believe this! What a sordid display!"
"Did it just get hotter in here, Lionel?"
"It did, Dan... And that can only mean one thing... En FUEGO! The luchadore runs out and into the ring... He's pointing to Abu and screaming something... Gas Chamber and Dr. Midnight stand their ground...Now En Fuego is shouting at Gas Chamber and Dr. Midnight.... Can we get a mic down there? Wait... What's that music?"
"Sounds like Yngwie Malmsteen's 'No Mercy'.... Which is the... theme... for.... for..." "B-b-b-bo...B-bo... Fiendish...."
"Dr. Midnight kicks Abu out of the ring, and drags him back to the dressing room, for some unknown purpose... GC is laughing like hell as Bobo Fiendish enters the ring... En Fuego is caught between the two most merciless beings in this fed bar none..."
"What is Bobo doing? It looks like he's pulling something out of his pocket, and tosses it to GC... What is it...? Gas Chamber raises it for all to see.... It's... A pack of CIGARETTES?"
"Apparently, Bobo has just bought En Fuego from GC... That has to be the most disgraceful thing I've ever seen... GC takes the smokes and goes to the dressing room laughing all the way..."
"Doesn't look like En Fuego is too happy about it, either, Lionel... He leaps at Fiendish in rage, but Fiendish sidesteps and delivers a CRUSHING ridge hand strike! En Fuego goes down like he's been SHOT. Bobo stands there a minute, waiting for En Fuego to get to his feet.... OOOO!"
"Cheap shot from En Fuego! Uppercut to the groin area of Fiendish, which backs the beast up a few steps... Anyone else would be on their knees, but Bobo Fiendish isn't like anyone else in this sport, is he Dan?"
"Thank God, Lionel. Thank GOD."
"It seems En Fuego is mounting some offense against Fiendish, Dan... Incredible flurry of punches and kicks from the luchadore... Bobo is absorbing everything En Fuego is throwing at him, but it doesn't look like it's doing a whole lot of damage..."
"Well, Lionel, reportedly, while Bobo was in jail, he took beatings from the guards for hours on end.... That just HAS to toughen you up some, don't you think?"
"Well, it seems Bobo has had enough, and throws En Fuego to the ropes... Bobo executes a backdrop... En Fuego starts to go over, but Fiendish quickly grabs his ankles and DRIVES him to the mat.... Textbook anklegrab powerbomb, Dan..."
"Well, Bobo combines speed, strength, and technical skill to awesome effect, Lionel... Much to the dismay of his opponents."
"Well, that last shot seems to have knocked the wind out of En Fuego, and Bobo picks the luchadore up one-handed... He's holding En Fuego above his head with ONE HAND! Have you ever seen a one-handed gorilla press, Dan?"
"Nope.... Though you must admit that En Fuego IS a luchadore, which takes a little away from this particular feat... Bobo looks out to the crowd, still holding up En Fuego... What the hell? Am I seeing this?"
"We couldn't BOTH be hallucinating, Dan... The fans are throwing packs of cigarettes into the ring! Bobo let's each side of the arena make their case... Cigarettes are flying everywhere... Apparently, Bobo has picked a winning side, and hurls En Fuego to the floor! En Fuego hits the steel! This guy is in trouble something fierce, Dan... Wait, what's Bobo doing?"
"He's rolling around in the cigarette pile, Lionel... It actually looks like he's making an angel.... This guy is absolutely out of his mind, folks..."
"Bobo is on his feet, and En Fuego is still struggling to get up... Bobo runs to the other side, gets a head of steam up... Springboard to a Missile Dropkick! Bobo slams into En Fuego like a runaway truck, and En Fuego is down again... Amazing high-risk move from the big 330 plus pounder!"
"Bobo now tosses En Fuego into the ring, and goes in after him.... Bobo is now lifting En Fuego's arm... And applies his Iron Claw to the exposed pectoral region of En Fuego... En Fuego is wiggling like a fish on a hook under Bobo's merciless grip.... The referee approaches... En Fuego gives up! Bobo lifts En Fuego over his head as if En Fuego were the championship belt! He SLAMS the luchadore down in the angel pattern Bobo made in the pile of cigarettes! Talk about disrespect! Bobo then just turns and leaves En Fuego laying there.... Folks, that was pretty bad, though apparently Fiendish didn't decide to kill his opponent...."
"Maybe he decided it would be worse to let En Fuego live, Dan..."
"Well, I've said it before, Lionel... Is there ANYTHING out there that can STOP this monster?"
"Hell, Dan, I haven't seen anything slow it down, yet.... Here come our emergency staff, and they gather up En Fuego and carry him to the back... I have to admit that it was a game try on the part of the luchadore, but Fiendish has overwhelmed men that were his size and bigger..."
"Well, now that En Fuego is safely carried off, it's time for our next match.... Tiger versus Sergeant Sledge...Sledge is now entering the ring while the Marine Corps Anthem blares... Sledge looks like he's ready for anything, and with that sledgehammer in his hand, he seems ready to storm Iwo Jima solo..."
"That's true, Dan... But now Tiger enters the ring with 'Running through the Jungle' by CCR playing... He's truly a crowd pleaser, giving five to the fans as he walks the aisle..."
"Sarge is sizing up Tiger from his vantage point in the ring.... But it looks like it's going to be clean fight, Lionel... Tiger enters the ring, and Sledge puts his hammer aside... The referee rings the bell, and the match starts... Tiger and Sledge circle each other... There's a collar and elbow tieup, with neither man gaining ground or losing it... They both break, and run to the ropes, getting up a head of steam... Simultaneous dropkicks from both men... Neither finding the mark... They're both on their feet quick as lightning..."
"Dan, never have I seen two men so evenly matched... Oh, wait... Tiger is up first! He applies a front chancery on Sarge... Then delivers a hard elbow shot right between Sledge's shoulders! That has to hurt, Dan..."
"It does, Lionel... Trust me..."
"Tiger now throws Sledge to the ropes, it looks like he's going for a spinebuster.... Oh MY! Great counter from Sledge as he executes a seated dropkick on Tiger...."
"Tiger telegraphed his intentions too early, Lionel.... A savvy vet like Sergeant Sledge is going to be able to get out of situations that rookies fall prey to, and that was no exception... Sledge now drops an elbow on Tiger... Now he has him in a full arm drag and twist.... He goes for a forearm shiver, but Tiger is so quick.... OUCH! Tiger rams a shoulder into Sarge's midsection, staggering the ex-marine....."
"Tiger is one of the fastest men in the sport, after all, Dan... And WOW what a beautiful leg dive takedown from Tiger... Very sound technical wrestling, there... He now has Sledge in a spinning toe hold... Sarge manages to grab the ropes and the referee forces the break..."
"Tiger has something planned. and he starts to get up a head of steam... Off the ropes... Oh MAN! SOLID heart punch from the ex-marine, and Tiger goes down! Like I said, Lionel, Sledge is cagey! He really sucked Tiger in playing possum like that, and the tide has turned.... He pulls Tiger to his feet... WOW! Crisp Powerbomb from the Sarge, and Tiger is in trouble... Sledge climbs the turnbuckle... But wait! Tiger is on his feet! He stops Sledge in the corner... Several punches and forearms are exchanged between them... Sledge on the top and Tiger on the mat... Tiger ducks a shot from the Sarge, and oh MY! Did you see that, Lionel?"
"I did, Dan.... Tiger executed a very solid Frankensteiner while Sledge was off balance, dumping the ex-marine right on his head! And Sarge is out of it.... Tiger goes to the top... Could it be? It IS!"
"That move just amazes me too, Lionel... Tiger slams Sledge with his patented 810 splash, and there's the cover.... 1..... 2..... 3.... Tiger wins it! What a match! Tiger is apparently helping Sledge to his feet now... Excellent sportsmanship from Tiger, as he congratulates the Sarge for a great match... The fans cheer both men, and Tiger leaves the ring, slapping five with the fans as he goes."
"And with Sergeant Sledge leaving the ring now, we can start our next match... Fire and Ice versus Caster and... is this right? En Fuego?"
"I can't believe it either, Lionel... How can Caster expect En Fuego to team up with him after that beating he took? He may have to fight Fire and Ice in a handicap match...."
"Well, Fire and Ice are eager to redeem themselves after their loss last week against Heaven's Messengers, and if they have to fight a team with En Fuego on it in the condition he's in tonight, I'd say their chances are good...."
"And Fire and Ice walk down the aisle to the ring... These two big men are going to have an easy time of it unless En Fuego makes one of the fastest recoveries in history...."
"And now Caster walks to the ring escorted by the lovely Jazelle... You have to admire the guy... Even after seeing his partner wrecked, he still comes out.... That seems to straddle the line between courage and foolishness, doesn't it, Dan?"
"Nope, I think it's just foolishness, myself, Lionel... But wait! Is it getting hot in here, again?"
"It can't be... But it seems that En Fuego is planning to come out.... No motion from the back as yet..... Oh NO... It's Bobo Fiendish! He's dragging an unconscious En Fuego to the ring! What is he doing now? Can you see, Dan?"
"It looks like Bobo is smoking a cigarette... And he's wearing a shirt from our Medical Staff! He drags En Fuego to the ring like a ragdoll.... This is just terrible... He rolls En Fuego into the ring, and climbs in after him.... Fire and Ice are laughing like hell, Lionel... Caster can't believe what he's seeing, and neither can I.... Bobo props En Fuego up in the corner like an umbrella, and stands on the apron... Caster looks completely dumbstruck, and it looks like Ice will start this match..."
"If I were Caster, I'd hit the bricks, Dan... Bobo is animating En Fuego like a puppet, and waves En Fuego's limp arm to the crowd as if to say that En Fuego's alright... This is just disgraceful...."
"Ice comes in and delivers a series of forearms to the obviously distracted Caster... And there's the shortcut from Ice as he goes to the eyes... Caster is in trouble, and Fiendish puts En Fuego's arm out, as if to call for a tag.... Lionel, I am just sick to see this...."
"And Ice goes off the ropes, building up steam... Baseball Slide Low Blow! Caster falls back, and into En Fuego's outstretched arm... The referee calls it a tag! What the hell? Bobo picks up En Fuego and throws him at Ice! En Fuego's head connects with Ice's and Ice goes down with En Fuego on top of him! Fire starts to come in, but Caster stops him, and the referee makes the count! 1.... 2.... 3....! I can't believe I just saw that! Bobo hops down from the apron, and walks to the back... Fire and Ice have lost the match! This is incredible!"
"This is one match that just defies description, Lionel... But you can have anything happen in the Nightmare, after all... That was just proof..."
"And without further ado, we come upon our main event of the evening.... Heaven's Messengers versus the Hypnotico Brothers.... No DQ... Falls count anywhere... FIVE COUNT FALL... This is gonna be a real blockbuster, Dan..."
"Without a doubt, Lionel.... Originally, this was billed as a Grudge Match, but Father Pain and Punishment petitioned to have it changed, since they can't hold grudges according to their faith..."
"Well, whatever, Dan... With the sound of Gregorian chants, Heaven's Messengers enter the ring... I'll add that P&P are members of the only stable in NWF, the Chosen... Along with Gas Chamber and Bobo Fiendish, they seem pretty much unstoppable..."
"However, it is shown that GC and Bobo don't usually interfere in P&P's matches, Lionel..."
"Well, P&P haven't been in a no DQ situation before, so that could foreseeably change, right Dan?"
"I stand corrected, Lionel... But we'll have to wait and see what happens... And now the Hypnoticos make their entrance, and stride purposefully to the ring.... The ref calls for the start, and it looks like Hypnotico 2 and Father Punishment will start it off... The two men tie it up, and H2 pushes Pun into the corner... The referee calls for a break, and it's a clean one... Pun then tries a haymaker shot, but H2 ducks it and delivers a kitchen sink kneelift to the good Father... Pun gets to his feet, and tries a shoulder tackle... Neither man budges.. Both go to the ropes to get a head of stream up... Another shoulder block... Neither man budges again! They decide to go for it again, and just as Pun goes for the shoulder block, H2 catches him in a back bodydrop! Talk about your classic rope-a-dope, Lionel..."
"Without a doubt, the Hypnoticos are one of the cleverest duos in tag team history.... Such ring generalship is rare in a singles wrestler, and almost unheard of in a tag team.... H2 now picks up Pun, and delivers a very nice snap suplex on the Father...."
"Well, H2 is a suplex specialist, after all, Lionel... And Pun looks to be in a little trouble as H2 applies a cross-arm breaker.... A little early in the match to use a submission move, these are obviously wear-down tactics from the masked technicos..."
"I totally concur, Dan... H2 releases the hold and goes for an elbow drop... Pun rolls out of the way! Pun is on his feet, and he executes a standing dropkick on H2 as H2 reaches a vertical base, sending the masked man to the canvas... Pun uses the time to tag in Pain, and Pain gets to H2 as he struggles back to his feet... Pain puts the grab on H2, and executes a textbook double underhook suplex, dumping the masked man to the mat like a sack of cement.... H2 is in obvious trouble now, and he begins to try to get back to his corner and make the tag..."
"He did it! Hypnotico One is in the ring, and he launches a series of forearms and elbows to the head of Father Pain... Pain staggers back, but then delivers a surprising dropkick to H1's knee, dropping the masked man... P&P are full of surprises tonight, eh, Lionel?"
"Absolutely, Dan... Pain now brings H1 to his feet, and ROCKS him with a reverse knife edge chop! He delivers another one! H1 is being herded to the neutral corner, and Pain picks up the Hypnotico and puts him on the top turnbuckle, obviously going for a superplex or something... Oh MY! Tornado DDT from H1 send Father Pain to the mat, and that was just out of nowhere, Dan.."
"You can't give these Hypnoticos a second to think, Lionel, if you let up on them, they'll find a way to turn the tables on you, as Father Pain could (pardon the pun) testify to right now... H1 applies a reverse chinlock on the good Father, again, wearing the man down..."
"Excellent tactical and technical wrestling from the Hypnoticos, Dan... One can see why they call themselves the darlings of the NWF... H1 drops a knee on Father Pain, and Pain is in trouble... H1 goes for a corkscrew legdrop, but Pain rolls out of the way! Pain rolls to his corner, and tags Pun back in... Ut oh... Is that someone coming out from the back, Dan?"
"It looks a good deal like Dr.Midnight, Lionel... He seems to be pulling a cart or something to the ring... Strange... He pulls the cloth from the cart, and reveals.... Oh JEEZ! He was Abu tied to a cross, obviously mocking P&P and Abu... There seems to be a sign hanging on Abu... Can you see it, Lionel?"
"I'm not sure, but I think it says.... 'Who's Your Messiah Now?' The Fathers are thunderstruck at this unbelievable display, and quite frankly so are we... Pain jumps down from the apron and goes after Dr. Midnight.... Oh MAN! The Hypnoticos use the distraction, and H2 executes an Underhook Powerbomb on Pun while H1 climbs to the top... Pun is down and obviously has had the wind knocked out of him... H1 raises his hands, and H2 runs over... Bayamon BRICKSLIDE on Father Pun, while Pain tries to untie Abu... He doesn't see what's happening! The referee makes the count... 1.... 2.... 3.... 4.... 5....! The Hypnoticos win it! The Hypnoticos win it! Oh MAN, have we seen everything tonight or what, Dan?"
"I'll have to reserve judgement on that one, Lionel... Because we're at the end of tonight's card, so for the Nightmare Wrestling Foundation, let me wish everyone a good night, and please drive safely..."

End of Broadcast....